................

Okay, now that we've accrued a wealth of pictures with Markie the travellin' fetus, I think the time has come at long last to make his damn MySpace. So, if you have pictures of Markie, especially on backup hard drives that are just now working again, e-mail them to me.



Something else I didn't mention... Markie almost got et by a horse. I rather stupidly tried to get a shot of the horse gumming Markie and... well... I guess plastic fetuses are slightly reminiscent of apples or something, cause that horse was tenacious!

I apologize, Markie. But it could have been another of Markie's journeys! Journey THROUGH the horse!

Am.... Ami... hummina... whuda... ARABS ARE NAMED MUHAMMAD BUAHAHA COMIC GOLD

James Woods, you ass! I know you're a conservative chunkhead but what the hell are you doing?! And David Alan Grier, what the... but why? WHY?

And David Zucker? Creator of Airplane! and The Naked Gun? I... I...

Oh Jesus Fuck, of course Jon Voight is in this.

And GUESS WHOSE CAR WON'T START.

...Midwest, man. Midwest. Please be the battery!

I was totally digging it up til Mr. Firefly came along.

I think I need to go for a walk...

Some Spanish speakers for the love of God please translate this.

EXTREMELY not safe for work.

I'm so sorry.

...

No I'm not.

It's Rapex! The anti-rape condom! Simply wear skimpy, whorish clothing, "ask for it", attract a rapist's penis to your vajayjay, and voila! In comes Rapex, the condom that spears ones penis the very moment it is inserted into the anti-rape condom. Of course this means one must at least get a little raped in order for the condom to work, but don't worry, at least you won't get quite so knocked up.

*phew* That nighttime parking lot looked mighty formidable.

I'm totally addicted to CurrentTV. This campaign update (daily, except on the weekends) is totally the only one out there that's worth a damn.

Tomorrow, a ferret in a bee costume.

Not Shia's pinky!

Seriously, if all the stupid minor infractions weren't killing his career, being minus a finger would kill it where he stands. He best tell those doctors to give him a friggen bionic finger or something, or he is dead in the water.

I actually really feel bad for the guy. Finger loss has always been one of my biggest irrational fears.

Edit: False alarm! Curse you, gossip columnists.

See Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Ad and more funny videos on FunnyOrDie.com

I kind of... feel... like... respect for her or something. Even if she does have weirdly unfortunate feet.

Know this? I didn't. Tori Amos has released a comic book done by a bunch of different artists, all based off her songs. Released yesterday! Moreover, she's here, and has a panel on Saturday, same damn time as the Transformers panel that sakon76 invited me to earlier. Wow. I think I just went down a few notches in social status by probably being the only person here who's going, "Damn, I have to choose between Tori Amos and Transformers!" And then I bury my head in the sand and cry into my Star Trek uniform.

That said... think I gotta go with Tori. This book does sound really cool. And I've never actually seen her in any capacity. Then again, I did actually play with my first Transformers toy yesterday. Like, actually physically hold it. I'd never seen one of the toys before in a not-in-box capacity, and... I think I get where the crack comes in. I didn't know what the hell I was doing but I'll be damned if it wasn't fun as hell trying to figure out where the head goes and where the foot goes and where this wheel goes and... whether it's supposed to be a flying thing or a tricycle or what (I couldn't tell. I was a purple Decepticon. That's all I know.) I think I want one. I'd just... transform it all the day long! Robot, car, robot, car, robot, car...

You know what else they do a lot in San Diego? They ride around on Segways. Like, completely unironically.

Oh, swankyfunk, I seem to be missing the Spaced panel right this very moment, and guess who's there... :x

Dance! Dance you little... saaayy... Dougie got back.

---

So, I'm in San Diego, and is this place the capital of heaven or what? It's like Asheville ate a burrito and the byproduct landed on Southern California. I mean that in a nice way of course, very clean, relatively free of chains, and right down to the complete dearth of people. Seriously, there is nobody here, doubly disconcerting considering the fact that there's a big fucking convention down the road. Maybe everyone's pre-gaming?

I did see a couple of girls last night, one of whom probably weighed more than my dad. It really makes me wonder, about fat and the nerd corps. It's kind of a chicken and the egg thing; are people with a genetic predisposition towards being fat more likely to become nerds, or do you become fat, and then look at yourself and think, "Well, I look like a nerd, time to go be one"?

Doubly amusing was her friend, out of four of them, a picture of social awkwardness that made the five of us in Ireland (you know to whom I refer) look like goddesses of the night. This one was wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt, a TMNT backpack for young boys, and was carrying a pillow with a TMNT pillowcase. Oh, SDCC, I thought you were supposed to be less stereotypical. Ah well, should be good picture fodder.

If you're going, do tell! I may... require assistance... if I cannot get a press pass... which I shall do now.

I know I'm in the minority for being on the less impressed side of things for this movie, but what do you guys think?

D:

I love Paul's music choice as she walks in.

Lapdances: They're about power. And seduction.

Yep.

I think this is the silliest-borderline-ironic damn thing 'fandom' has come up with in a while. There, I said it. And I'm surprised at how I'm seeing it all over the place.

I love your priorities guys. Oh, wait, I forgot who I was talking to.

Mr. McCain should be required to see “Wall-E” to learn just how far adrift he is from an America whose economic fears cannot be remedied by his flip-flop embrace of the Bush tax cuts (for the wealthy) and his sham gas-tax holiday (for everyone else). Mr. Obama should see it to be reminded of just how bold his vision of change had been before he settled into a front-runner’s complacency. Americans should see it to appreciate just how much things are out of joint on an Independence Day when a cartoon robot evokes America’s patriotic ideals with more conviction than either of the men who would be president.

I'm a bit terrified about McCain, but I admit, I'm also a bit disappointed in Mr. Obama lately.